About Crying

by AI Bing Image Creator

The first instinctual behavior of human beings when we arrive in this world is to cry. It is the sound of a new life, an expression of need, discomfort, and adjustment to the outside world. From that first cry, we begin communicating with the world around us, often before words are learned, while crying remains a deeply embedded part of our emotional being.

Once, during a five-hour flight, I sat next to a young mother and her infant daughter. The baby girl cried several times. Each time, her mother smiled gently and attended to her needs with different responses—whether offering food, toys, or comfort. Despite her efforts, the mother frequently apologized to me, explaining, “Different cries from my baby tell me different messages, and I know exactly how to respond to each of them.” I admired how attuned she was to her daughter’s needs, and it struck me: crying is more than an outburst of emotion—it’s communication. The mother understood that crying wasn't something to be stopped but something to be understood and responded to.

As we grow older, however, crying often takes on a different meaning, especially in adulthood. It becomes laden with judgment and stereotypes. In many societies, crying is associated with weakness, vulnerability, or even shame. But is it fair to view crying this way?

I once found myself in a conversation with a close colleague and friend, where I was expressing my concern for my mother, who was caring for my injured father. I felt the weight of it all, and tears welled up in my eyes. Without hesitation, my friend said firmly, “Be strong. Don’t cry.” The words caught me off guard. I didn’t feel weak for crying; in fact, I felt that I was simply being vulnerable and open about my emotions with someone I trusted. I wasn’t breaking down or losing control; I was allowing myself to express the deep love and concern I felt for my parents, especially seeing my mother remain strong while caring for my father over months of recovery. The tears came not from a place of weakness, but from a deep well of love, empathy, and connection.

Yet, my friend’s reaction reflected a common attitude towards crying—one that equates it with fragility or even failure to be resilient. This perception is deeply rooted in societal expectations, especially when it comes to gender norms. From a young age, many boys are told not to cry, being fed the notion that tears are a sign of weakness. This conditioning follows many into adulthood, where showing emotion can feel like crossing a line they were taught never to approach. In fact, I could not imagine how it will feel like if a human being loses the ability to cry.

Interestingly, in professional settings, the taboo against crying can be even stronger. Emotions in the workplace are often seen as distractions or signs of unprofessionalism. I once had a manager who was known for her dedication to working long hours, never complaining, and always being a rock for her team. However, during a particularly difficult project, she couldn’t hide her emotions. In a team meeting, after weeks of long hours and intense effort, she shared the unfortunate news that the project we had all worked tirelessly on was being cancelled. As she spoke, her voice wavered, and I saw tears flash in her eyes. She leaned back, pausing for a moment, and then apologized to the team: “I know you’ve all worked more than 12 hours a day for the past month, including weekends. I’m so sorry that the project had to be cancelled.” Her tears weren’t a sign of weakness—they were a testament to her investment in the team’s hard work and her empathy for the effort we had put in. In that moment, her vulnerability inspired the team’s respect and compassion.

Crying is a natural expression of a wide range of emotions—love, sorrow, frustration, even joy. It’s a release that can bring relief, clarity, and sometimes even healing. And yet, as we grow older, many of us learn to suppress our tears. We’re taught that crying is inappropriate, especially in public or in professional settings, and we begin to disconnect from this natural form of emotional expression. We forget that, as babies, we cried freely and without judgment. That instinctual gift becomes buried under layers of social conditioning.

Crying is a natural expression of a wide range of emotions—love, sorrow, frustration, even joy. It’s a release that can bring relief, clarity, and sometimes even healing.

The truth is that crying can be a powerful way to reconnect with our authentic selves. I’ve seen this firsthand in coaching sessions. People often come in feeling weighed down by stress, emotions they’ve been holding back, or difficult experiences. And sometimes, those emotions surface in the form of tears. In those moments, I’ve seen people shed the protective layers they’ve built up over time—the layers that keep them from feeling, from being vulnerable, from showing their true selves. And what comes after is often a sense of relief, a lightness, and a clarity that wasn’t there before. People smile after they cry, as if the act of crying allowed them to release the emotional weight they were carrying.

The truth is that crying can be a powerful way to reconnect with our authentic selves

Ultimately, crying is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of our humanity. It connects us to our deepest emotions and to each other. When someone allows themselves to cry in front of us, they are showing us trust. They are being authentic and vulnerable, and that’s something we should honor, not discourage. Very often, when we are deeply connected with the other person and being authentic, we would also shed tears together with the other person crying.

Ultimately, crying is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of our humanity.

Perhaps we do not want to see crying as something to be avoided or stifled, and instead embrace it as a natural, healthy part of emotional expression. When we allow ourselves to cry, we’re allowing ourselves to be human—to feel deeply, to connect, and to heal. After all, the first thing we did when we came to this world was cry. It’s time we re-learn the wisdom in that.